Wait. It’s a word that I dread.
I don’t consider myself a particularly impatient person, but there’s something about waiting that makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the feeling of having no control over the situation? The feeling of uncertainty? Whatever it is, I don’t like it. Whether I’m waiting for a friend to show up, waiting for my plane to depart, or waiting on God to give me direction, I get anxious. Edgy. Frustrated.
But the thing is, I can’t force my friends to show up when they said they would, can’t will that plane to take off, can’t strong-arm God into telling me WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE.
So I must wait. And try not lose my mind in the process.
Waiting has been somewhat of a theme in my life over the past couple of months, and God seems to be using this season to specifically teach me what it means to wait on Him. (And what a painful lesson that tends to be.) I’m waiting for clarity on my living situation, waiting for new people to be hired at work to help balance out my workload, waiting on God to move in family situations where there’s sickness and hurt…and the list goes on.
At times I’m frustrated with God—I know He could fix these things in the snap of a finger, so why is He keeping me waiting?? Most days, I don’t understand what the plan is or what in the world He’s waiting for. Why does He make us wait for healing? For clarity? How long do I have to wait?
In the past couple of weeks, these questions have pretty constantly been at the top of my mind, and I’ve been praying about it a lot. And then I came across Psalm 13 the other day—and was it ever timely. Here’s what it says:
How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for He has been good to me.
David is so human in this Psalm; he’s wrestling with some of the same questions and frustrations I am. “Um, hello God? You there? What are you waiting for??” But at the end, David comes back around to remind himself that, even when he can’t see God moving, God is worthy of being trusted.
There have been days when I feel like God has forgotten me and all that I’m going through. Or that He’s cruelly withholding help and direction. And, like David, I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart. Have you ever felt that way?
But it’s on those days, when we don’t feel God’s direction or guidance, that we have to remind ourselves of what we know to be true: That God is faithful and His love is unfailing. That often, we don’t see what God is working on below the surface—but in His own perfect timing, He will deliver us from our circumstances, heal our pain, and bring light to the darkest parts of us. Also, that it’s often in the dark that God teaches us to trust Him with unwavering faith.
In seasons of waiting, we get to trust Him all the more for the strength to get through the day, the motivation to carry on, and the wisdom to take the right steps moving forward. And isn’t that what He’s wanted for us all along?