Last week, I received a note from a freshman in college who was struggling to fit in at his new school. He went from being hopeful for a new beginning to feeling isolated and confused. He said it felt impossible for him to live a life of faith and morality because of the people he was surrounded by, and he wanted my advice. It's hard to know where to start, so I'll just dive in.
First, I'm really proud of the students who are trying to stay true to themselves, their faith, and God. That's a hard thing to do when almost all your classmates are partying hard, looking at porn, and hooking up. Though there are some great Christian institutions out there like Bethel, Calvin College, and the University of Northwestern in St. Paul, most colleges and universities in our country are completely lost when it comes to Christian living. If you’re a college student who's struggling to find your way, here's my advice:
You are not alone, even though it may seem like it.
I assure you, there are other students who feel as isolated and alone as you do. They don't want to be a part of the party scene but feel like they have to because they'd be alone if they don't. Find those people. Then, get involved in a Christian organization on your campus like Cru, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, InterVarsity, or Athletes in Action where you can build some solid relationships.
The choices you make today will shape your future.
Right now, it may seem like college will never end, but it will. But the choices you make in college will stay with you forever. Don’t start drinking; don’t start partying; don’t stay up until 2 or 3 am; don’t sleep around. All those choices will lead to regret, failure, and marital struggles in the future. Many of your classmates will stagger into real life addiction and relational train wrecks. This makes for lousy employees; we don't hire people like that, and most companies don't.
Sometimes college stinks.
At least it did for me. Too many colleges and universities today are killing students' morality, faith, and life. Nobody talks about it, but I do because I see it and hear about it from students all of the time. Just remember that if you're lonely right now, there's a better life ahead. Keep doing the right thing—down the road, you'll be thankful you did.
Whenever you can, get to church.
Finally, watch Eagle Brook online, and whenever you can, come to church on the weekend. You’ll see thousands of other people, many who are in their teens and twenties, worshiping God and living the life of faith. It helps to be in the room with other believers. Watching online is great, but it can seem like you’re all alone. I always tell people that the connections you make and the feeling of belonging you get when you’re actually at church is a game changer. Also, pick up some inspiring books. If you haven’t read Get Wise, I’d be happy to grab you a free copy after a service.
Just remember, you are not alone—Jesus is always with you. Even in your loneliness. I know it feels terrible, but you can get through it. Hang onto what you know is right. Don't give into peer pressure. Be willing to stand alone if you have to and God will honor that big time. Thousands of students your age are fighting the good fight. Be one of them, and I will continue to pray for you.
