This summer, I was out golfing with my good friend, Aaron. I was a couple of months into my new job as the campus pastor and I had been looking forward to spending my first
Immediately I felt overwhelmed. I hit a poor tee shot. Then, Hole 2. Another disaster. That foursome was soon nowhere in sight, yet each time I stepped to the ball I felt my chest tighten. I rushed my approach and for three straight shots, I chunked three feet in front of me. I told myself to slow down, and my chest only tightened more. Frustration began setting in. This wasn’t me.
I looked at Aaron and almost broke down. And at that moment, I knew. The rush I felt wasn’t because of the invisible foursome or even the desire to finish the game. It was a rush in my soul. I was empty. My body had needed a reset and I’d known it, but I’d pushed it, so much that what should have been a fun day celebrating a friend wasn’t. I had nothing left.
Have you ever experienced that? Knowing your body’s craving a fill-up but pushing it and finding yourself even more empty?
We are about to enter a season of holidays and chaotic schedules, which for most includes a lot of giving and pouring out. How are you doing with this personally? Is your soul adequately filled up? Are you ready to pour out into the relationships around you or are you empty, overwhelmed, and ready to throw in the towel? Even the most confident, put together, and independent people have these moments. We all need to fill up in order to pour out. So, as we’re about to enter a season requiring us to pour out, here are a few steps to make sure we are adequately filled up.
Recognize the cues.
I’m learning the cues of when I am getting dangerously close to empty. For me, it’s a lack of patience. I get indecisive and lack focus. I can feel it, even with something as simple as deciding where to go for dinner. What are those cues for you to set off the alarm that you have no margin or rest in your life? Are you sharp with your tongue? Do you shut down and not engage in conversations? Do you run away from conflict? Is there a sense of selfishness rising up? Do your insecurities cripple you?
Prepare for these moments by recognizing when they might be coming before they ever happen. There are seasons that will simply drain us more than the normal day-to-day routines. Whether it’s upcoming holidays that put the pressure on or unexpected news that pulls you somewhere else, recognizing your cues will help you stay ahead.
Learn your limits and make adjustments.
When you identify your cues, you’ll also begin to learn your limits. How much can you pour and then what are the rhythms that keep you in check? What are the habits you put in place so that each day you are at your best at work, with your significant other, in friendships, or at school?
If you are getting dangerously low and bordering on empty—practice those habits that fill you up. For some of you, it’s solitude. For others, it’s coffee with a best friend. At times, sleep actually may be the best possible thing. I am filled up by a run, a bike ride, or just getting time to write out my prayers and thoughts.
Adjust your schedule to give you the time to fill up with what fills your soul. Go to bed earlier. Turn your phone off or leave it out in the living room when you go to bed. Wake up earlier so you don’t rush out the door to work or school. Spend the time in the morning to read scripture and reflect on it for 15 minutes before heading out. Find what works for you and make adjustments as you gauge how close you are to empty.
Invite others into the process
Finally, invite those who are closest to you into the process. If you don’t know the cues of when you are getting close to empty, ask someone. I am sure they will be able to tell you exactly what those cues are. Invite them to hold you accountable to staying filled up. Give them permission to let you off the hook on some things so you can do the activities and things that fill you up. Don’t have those people? Begin serving or join a small group. Search for those people who will go on this journey with you.
Through it all, though, you have to invite God into this entire process. God is the one who brings joy and peace into your life, but that comes through inviting Him into your life. Invite God into your daily habits and rhythms. It’s no wonder when I recognize I am dangerously close to empty that I have also missed time with God in the mornings. I look at my journal only to realize it’s been four days since I last wrote and spent time in scripture. He is the ultimate source of peace and He’s the one that gives us rest. Not sure where to start but know you need a connecting point with God? Dive into the Bible Reading Plan on the app or website, and give yourself permission to spend a little time there every day.
