I'm a father of four. My oldest is 24, youngest is 18 and one is married. Since they were infants, my wife and I have learned that our words of affirmation, our actions of love and our presence go a long way in building a security of love for our children. Parenting is a full-time job which brings us joy, but it also brings us to our knees in prayer. It's not easy. However, when our kids feel secure, our stress level becomes much more manageable.
But how to we build that security? By loving wellnot just as a parent, but as a Christian and as a spouse. We need to be living examples of what love is. Here are three ways to help your kids feel secure in your love:
1. Love God
My best days as a dad have come when I'm growing and secure in my relationship with God. When I'm getting to know God on a regular basis, it gives me wisdom, patience and a better ability to love my kids. I continue to learn that God loves me no matter what I do or don't do. He is always there and will never leave me. So, in any way that I can, I try to give my kids a glimpse of God's unconditional love by how I love them.
2. Love Their Mom
I asked one of my children when they were little, "How do you know I love you?" Their answer had a huge impact on me. They said, "Because you love mommy!" Love and security are displayed to our kids when they see their parents loving each other. I want my kids seeing me, as their dad, loving and cherishing their mom. They need to see us having fun together and building a friendship. So it's pretty simple: love your kid's mom/dad and they will feel loved because of the sense of security it brings them.
3. Love Them
When my kids were little I would tuck them into bed at night. My routine would be to say to them: "Do you know what I love about you?" Of course they would smile and giggle with anticipation and ask "What?" I would say things like, "I love your smile, I love your beautiful eyes, I love the way you treated your mommy today." I would finish by telling them "I love you" and then would give them a bunch of hugs and kisses and we would pray together. They always looked secure and content when I left them. Now that my kids are young adults, they still want and desire to be loved and affirmed for who they are. I try to tell them on a regular basis that I'm proud of them and I love the way that God is molding them.My parents are in their 80s and still make me feel secure when they affirm me for my gifts and tell me they love me. I'm in my 50s and my parents continue to impact me with their love. This inspires me to do the same for my children and I hope and pray it inspires you too.
