"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
When I was five, my parents took me and my siblings to Wal-Mart and let each of us pick out a new toy. We didn't typically get presents outside of birthdays and Christmas, so this felt like a pretty special occasion. Because of this, I felt quite wracked by the weight of this decision. What toy should I choose? How would I know which one was the right one?? What if I chose wrong?! So paralyzed was I by this decision, that I went home that night without a new toy. I was so afraid of making the wrong decision, of making a choice that I'd regret, that I didn't choose anything at all.
Things only got worse as I got older. When faced with decisions about where to attend college, whether I should date someone or not, which jobs to accept, I froze. I've always been afraid of the impact that a decision will have on my life—believing that I could derail my entire life with one wrong decision.
I held onto this belief until a couple years ago. I was at a conference, and the speaker said that, in general, most of life's big decisions aren't choices between good and bad, right and wrong. Generally, they're between good and good. There often isn't one path that's entirely better than the other, one that will totally shape and define us and one that will destroy and deplete us. If that were the case, would it really be a choice?
Instead, God gave us free will. He lets us make decisions about which path to walk down and which doors to open. When we're faced with something that goes against a directive He has given us: do not steal, do not murder, love your neighbor as yourselfHe'll make it pretty clear what we should do.
But in the absence of a command from God, he gives us the freedom and wisdom to choose. We then simply trust that our sovereign God will work the details together for good.
The game-changer for me was realizing that no decision I could make is outside of God's redemptive possibility. Whether I choose this job or that one, He can use me. Whether I date this person or that one, He can teach me. I may have experienced different opportunities if I had gone to that college rather than this one, but God used the choice I made for my benefit and his glory.
Sure, having free will means that sometimes I will choose something that is not God's best for me. But that doesn't mean my life will then spiral out of control and end in total destruction. It simply means that it may take a little longer to learn something, or my path to get from point A to point B may be a little more winding than it would be if I had chosen something else. But God is in the business of redemption—he can and will redeem those decisions.
So now, when faced with a choice between two good options, I ask God for wisdom, and then ask myself a couple of things: Does this light me up and make me feel more alive? Is there peace in my heart and mind as I think of making this decision? Can God use me in this situation? When I look back in 10 or 20 years, will I regret this decision, or will it have helped shape who I became? If I can answer all of these questions in good conscience, I can feel pretty confident that I've made a wise decision. And then I have to leave the rest up to God, trusting that he is faithful and will work out the details for good.
