Two months ago, we lost our 16-year-old son to suicide. There is no easy way to write that, let alone live it.
In late December, the White Bear Lake campus of Eagle Brook was overflowing with people, celebrating the life of Lewis, the boy who loved to fish, build things, make people laugh. The boy who made a motorbike out of a weed whacker engine, which Pastor Bob highlighted in a message a few years ago. The same boy who, six months earlier, was rescued from drowning by a stranger who came just in time.
Joy and I sent our daughter Emma off to college this past fall, and suddenly, unbearably, we're empty nesters. The silence in our home pulses with longing, aching, even anger. Though we've both experienced the grief of losing parents and good friends, the double whammy of the loss of a child and the trauma of suicide has been the shock of our lives.
One thing is abundantly clear: We are not alone in our suffering. A few days before our son's death, another staff member at Eagle Brook lost her son. Others who have lost children have shared their stories with us. Now that we've joined "The Club" of grieving parents, we've come to realize how over-populated this club is.
But here's the good news: Catastrophe brings out the best in The Church. The Church jumps into action and becomes the hands, feet, eyes, and heart of Jesus, tangible and tender. Jesus weeps with us through the tears of his people. Jesus holds us up, feeds us, shovels our driveway, fills our home with the fragrance of flowers and candles. Jesus speaks to us through the words The Church writes, the phone calls and texts, the songs and stories and laughter.
If you ever wonder if God is real, watch the church being The Church. The staff at Eagle Brook has been overwhelmingly generous, welcoming me back to work with sensitivity, even giving me some great belly-laughs to replace the ache that's often there.
As you read this, you may be suffering, and your pain is as real as mine. There is no hierarchy that ranks one person's pain over another. When you feel overwhelmed, reach out to The Church, whether that's Eagle Brook or another community. You are not alone in your suffering, and when you reach out for Christ, you'll find him in The Church.
And if you're not suffering, be The Church to someone else. Not just to the mourning, but also to those who are simply experiencing the day to day joys and struggles of life. Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." That's The Church. That's the hope of the world. Followers of Jesus doing what Jesus does.
